Being Tamil

I am not really a Tamilian. Sure, I have lived in Madras all my life. I am born to Tamilian parents. I don’t know any Hindi. And very importantly, I don’t desire to know any Hindi either. But, I am not obsessive about my Tamil identity. I am not even sure if I have one. Having some kind of cultural identity seems important. I am too obscure for something like that. Besides, it is so boring.

When amma tries to turn me into one of those good Tamil girls, it annoys me. I am not even nice enough to pretend. So, I don’t understand why she must me even bother. What kind of thick skin does she posses? And where does one find that?

 

It annoys me when The Boy says that we go and see – Kattradu Thamizh. He says that only because I suggested that we watch – Jab We Meet. When I become North Indian, his Tamil pride hollers. If I had suggested that we watch the Good German, he would have said that we ought to watch – Jab We Meet. Bleh.

 

I don’t understand this girl. She is charming, articulate and flippant. And she is also difficult to ignore. I can’t help checking her blog every hour to see if she is updating it. If people didn’t do things for money, they would be so much better at what they did, no?

 

But then, I am rich. So, it is easy for me to say that.

Note to Amma

You put yourself through nine months of trauma. You warred against the raging hormones. You did all of this, to bring me into this world.

 

You are a goddess.

 Why do you inflict so much pain on me now? Why must you always be dissatisfied with me? Why do you annoy me so much?

 

By the powers that be, I hereby take away your title.

 

You were a goddess.

Why do some people take themselves so seriously?

He tells me, you are superficial.

His tone is accusing.

I am supposed to squirm and feel apologetic.

I have immense urge to show him the appropriate finger, but I don’t. I make bambi eyes and threaten to cry.

He squirms and feels apologetic. He tells me that it was meant to be a joke.

Yeah, right.

I am a hypocrite. I am manipulative.

I am also a nice girl.

I contradict, therefore I am.